It's been a "heart week" for me. Do you ever have those? A week when it seems like each day there's something which pierces your heart, burdens your heart, lifts your heart or, simply, grips your heart?
Piercing my heart
How could your heart not be pierced by the events at Virginia Tech this week. What a tragic end to so many lives. What a tragic story of a hatred and evil. A tragic story of desperation.
When I think of the families and friends who are grieving now, my eyes well with tears. I can't even imagine the pain they are going through. And I know if I'm feeling this way, God's heart must feel pierced beyond belief.
He said that in the last days grievous times will come (2 Tim. 3:1). Sin results in death and pain and grief. This tragedy at V.T. doesn't come as a shock to Him. He knows what sin's outcome can look like.
But, it does rip His heart out. He never intended for evil to be part of our world. He hates it and he weeps over His lost and broken children.
Burdening my heart
We found out this week that my dad has a heart aneurysm. The news came as a shock. And it stirred up familiar feelings from nearly 17 years ago.
Back in 1990, my dad had open-heart surgery to replace a faulty aortic valve. Now it appears his aortic artery has a weakened area which requires surgery to repair it before it ruptures.
I'm amazed at my dad's faith through all of this. We're planning a trip down to the International House of Prayer next weekend where he'll have the opportunity to be prayed for by those anointed in healing prayer. In the meantime, we're making plans for the surgery. As my dad simply stated, "God is going to heal me one way or another. Either He'll heal me through prayer or He'll heal me through medicine."
As his oldest daughter, it's hard not to worry. It's hard not to take carry that weight of uncertainty. It's hard not to wonder how my parents will pay for the surgery or what would happen to our family if anything happened to Dad.
So, my heart has been burdened. And I've been trying to remember Jesus' words about trading our heavy burden for His light one. And I'm clinging to 1 Peter 5:7 which commands me to "cast your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you."
Lifting my heart
In the midst of the piercing and burdening, God has been good to give me some heart lifts. Those laughter-filled evening with friends, a pizza party with the whole family, refreshing conversations with some amazing women, compliments from my husband and smothers of hugs and kisses from the kids.
God knows I needed those boosts. I'm thankful that this week I've had the eyes to see the lifting moments around me. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I miss them. Sometimes I get too wrapped up in the tough stuff around me that I miss the kisses from heaven.
What about you? What kind of week have you had? One with pierces or burdens? One with lifts? What's gripping your heart?
I'd love to know.
Blessings - Christine