I don’t really know how or why it came to me, but this morning I had a pretty neat thought pertaining to all of the current relationship discussions we’ve had at Immersion:

Christ calls us to be servants, not to change who we are.

Jesus finds us just as we are, accepts us, and then invites us into a relationship in which we’re called to submit 100%, just as he already has for us. In the midst of our sins, shortcomings, and failings, he doesn’t withhold his invitation for a single one of us. And in those times when we don’t submit ourselves entirely to him, he offers us grace - a chance to get up and try again, all the while knowing full well that it won’t be long before we slip up the next time.

And in that grace, Christ encourages us to turn from those things that pull us away from him. Never forcefully, Christ offers us a chance to redefine who we are. We don’t have to define ourselves according to our struggles. Instead, a few words that describe us are redeemed, valued, treasured, special, adored.

But the most beautiful part of that is, when we know that we’re redeemed, valued, treasured, and adored, Christ encourages us to be who we are! He encourages musicians to sing and play, he encourages artists to paint and create, and he most certainly encourages those with a knack for the culinary to cook mouth-watering feasts!

This is why the words that came to me this morning struck me as so profound. Christ asking us to turn from our sin isn’t asking us to change who we are; he’s peeling away layer after layer of crap to get to the core of who we are, while revealing the most beautiful parts to shine more brightly and truly than before.

When you’re thinking of your current relationship, or a future relationship, keep that in mind. Know that being a servant doesn’t mean giving up what makes you who you are; it means allowing God’s love to shine through that other person to you, and vice versa, so that you can both be complete in one another, lacking nothing. It means being completely open and honest about your deepest struggles, and loving each other enough to move out of them together.

It doesn’t mean you’re going to have to give up every hobby you enjoy. It doesn’t mean you’ll never get to enjoy Thai food again. It doesn’t mean that you’re going to be bored by every movie you choose to see. Heck, with the way that God knows the deepest desires of our hearts, the person he pairs you with might even have those same quirky preferences as you! ;)

It never ceases to amaze me how often I find myself revisiting what I consider to be the most basic, core principles of Christ’s teachings. You know what I mean, those little token phrases that get tossed around in the church, like how “Jesus loves everyone equally” or how “Jesus was God.” So often, I dismiss those concepts as things I’ve heard before, and don’t give them so much as a second thought. But it seems that God has done some of the most powerful work in my life – or at least, in my brain – with those very concepts that I never bothered to think through completely. Although these sayings that we’ve all heard a million times are very familiar, the implications are vast, and seemingly endless.

The one that really has been ringing loudly in my ears lately is the one about how Jesus calls us to be “in the world, but not of it.” Jesus himself frequently spoke about his kingdom not being of this world, and likewise how if the people questioning him knew his father (who is also from said kingdom), then they would know him. However, a quick read through any gospel will quickly reveal that friend and foe alike had no clue where Jesus was from, where his kingdom was, or why he was there with them in the first place despite his best attempts to explain everything clearly.

I think it goes without saying that there are a million great examples of Jesus demonstrating behavior that not only affirmed his own faith in his claims, but validated them. Curing diseases, controlling nature, and raising people from the dead are just a few. But, what particularly interests me is how he interacted with the culture – the people of the time.

Anyone who had grown up for over 30 years in first-century Nazareth would have had a pretty sound understanding of the cultural norms of that time. Said person would know that people with skin diseases are to be avoided. He would know that when a person has been dead for several days, there is no saving them. This person would understand that disrespecting authority would earn you more than a slap on the wrist.

But, these are exactly the kinds of things that Jesus ignored. He did everything that made people’s jaws drop. He chose love over the norms that their culture had constructed because he knew that love was greater.

This isn’t anything new under the sun, nor is it a huge revelation for most people. But as I said, it’s when I think through the implications of those things that I think God really starts talking to me. With that in mind, I have to wonder about a few things…

Jesus knew what he was doing. He had to know that people were going to react extremely when he turned a deaf ear to everything that was “right” in their time. He had to know that the lowly, mistreated, and ignored people would almost instantly turn their hearts over to him. Likewise, he had to know that he was going to piss off the people who had dedicated their lives to keeping their religious beliefs in check, and their communities in order.

Think about that for a second. It’s easy to say, but put yourself in the shoes of those people. Think about how incredibly offensive Jesus was, right or wrong. I have to wonder if maybe the heated arguments that Jesus got into with the Pharisees weren’t fueled by the fact that he had no respect for their high-and-mighty position in society. Numerous times, we see them coming back to fight with him and try to catch him in a trap. Do you think maybe their pride was a little bent out of shape? I mean, we paint the Pharisees to be such horrible people, but we’d react the same way if some low-life came talking to us like he knew something we didn’t. How would you feel seeing someone standing outside an abortion clinic who, instead of protesting, was doing nothing more than giving hugs to the women who walked in and out? What if he sat on the bench outside the clinic and had a conversation with them? What if he loved them as if they hadn’t done anything wrong? Does that get on your nerves just a little? It probably would.

Now, on the other side of the coin…

Be brutally honest with yourself about your biggest insecurity, your worst fear, or the thing you hate most about your life. Think about the thing that you feel segregates you from the rest of society, or the thing that prevents you from ever taking risks in your life. What if an unsuspecting person on the street, who looked to be nothing special, walked up to you and relieved you of your affliction? How would you feel? Part of me would feel completely thrown off by the fact that someone who appeared to have no money, no education, or no power changed my life in a way that a doctor or psychologist never could! If it were me, I’d probably be asking for a way to repay him and show my gratitude! I’d go around telling everyone about the incredible thing he did for me!

Anyway, like I said before, this is probably nothing that you’ve never heard before, but God’s really been speaking loudly to me about this lately. It’s easy to say that I’m a Christian, but it’s not always easy to do the “right” thing and risk being seen as someone who has no clue how a culture operates. It’s not easy to get off my high horse and serve someone lower on this irrelevant totem pole of society that we’ve arbitrarily constructed. It’s equally as challenging to speak love into situations that 90% of our culture would chastise me for contradicting.

I was left tossing and turning, jumping at every noise outside my window, wondering who was out there, making sharp turns to look at my bedroom door. I didn’t want to feel this way, I prayed that it would stop, it felt so…. so… unnatural, when I think being afraid of a serial rapist would be societies “natural.” I felt so distant from myself, so lost, so disturbed. How could this man who I have never met or (to my knowledge) never come in contact with, have so much control over my thoughts and actions. It occurred to me that I was in my home, but it didn’t feel safe, it didn’t feel like home. My fear took that from me.

Why did this feeling have so much control over me? It was running my life. I know that God is always with me, whom shall I fear? God is my strength and my refuge… all those things were so far from me… I couldn’t seem to control myself. How did I get this way? I wasn’t acting like I knew these truths.

I was fearful.
I was a mess.

I hated it!

It got me thinking as to the other thoughts or feelings I may have throughout my day that steal God’s best for me.

Selfishness, envy, insecurity, lust, impatience, laziness, anger, gluttony, greed, oh… did I mention selfishness… I swear that is the root.

There are so many “little” things that can creep into my mind that eat away at my soul and destroy my life. Do you ever act our of one of these ugly things listed above and think to yourself “this isn’t right, this doesn’t feel like my true self, this is stealing me away from my home, my life with my maker.”

I want to take steps and notice these little things before they become bigger, deal with them with God and try not to let them control my thoughts and actions.

I want to be home.

For those of you who weren’t in attendance at Immersion last night (or for those of you who weren’t watching the live steam on live.bedeviant.com) Justin gave a pretty neat talk about the ways that we have seen advancing communication forms change the way in which we’re able to share the news of the gospel.

The example that he gave that pertains the most to us as Christians, I think, is Martin Luther’s belief that everyone should have their own Bible in a language that they could understand (not Latin). More specifically, the example relied heavily on the technology that allowed him to run with this idea: the printing press.

Martin Luther pushed printed translations of God’s word to everyone who had ears to hear, and became revolutionary in doing so. Today, the effects are still very tangible as 99% of us still have a printed Bible of some sort.

Justin went on to compare the technological advances of the internet to the printing press. The internet has given us nearly limitless capabilities to reach people on all ends of the globe in a plethora of mediums. Much in the way that the printing press was able to bring God’s word right to people’s hands and eyes, the internet takes that to a whole new level. People can watch church services online, watch worship music on YouTube, meet fellow Christians on Facebook and Twitter, read blogs where nerdy musicians are allowed to ramble, so on and so forth. The fact that we have a million golden opportunities is undeniable.

But, a question remains…

After the service last night, a friend of mine seemed less than enamored with the message of the night, so I inquired for an explanation. She told me that although Justin was correct about everything he said, she was concerned about the internet making church so accessible that it could promote complacency [or, at least, that’s what I heard]. That, while it’s great people can watch Immersion online, if that’s all they ever do with their faith, are we really helping? Or are we holding them back?

It’s a great question, and a very valid concern. If we go to the aforementioned example, we can definitely say that something happened between Martin Luther’s revolutionary actions and where we are today with printed Bibles. Perhaps people in Luther’s time were concerned that giving a Bible to everyone would have similar negative repercussions. Maybe they were concerned that people would sit in their homes and read, and that church attendance would plummet. Maybe they were concerned that people would start forming their own ideas of the Bible and start their own religious belief systems. Who knows? All we can say is that despite what concerns they may have had, the printed Bible has become a staple of anyone’s faith, and that a Christian life without it would be a very difficult one indeed.

I think that as we move forward into this unavoidable digital future, it would behoove us to ask similar tough questions and address our concerns about what we’re doing.

• What can we do to ensure that, even though we are using technology to reach people, we are still nudging them into community?
• How can we simultaneously broadcast our services to be viewed in front of a computer and promote a life of action that involves people getting up and going?

These new technologies are fantastic, and embracing them with the hope of spreading God’s love is equally as fantastic. As Justin said last night, “If Jesus were here today, he’d be on Twitter.” But, I’d have to add, Jesus would still get off his computer to go cast out demons, heal the sick, and preach the good news. Let’s make sure we’re doing the same!

I was taking a walk the other day when a little boy who couldn’t have been older than two or three suddenly ran out from behind a house, looked at me, and yelled, “Hi, Mom!” Now, this greeting was surprising on at least two levels. First, I’ve never come close to mothering a child. Second, I’d never seen this little boy before. I laughed, but then got to thinking about it. Kids aren’t the only ones who get confused. As adults we sometimes do the same thing; we don’t see things as they really are, though we may not notice at the time. We call it love when it’s really lust. We deem something or someone a success or a failure, when really we’re merely thinking in worldly, temporary terms. We consider situations hopeless when God’s cooking up something really great. God must react to those mistaken assessments with laughter, much as I reacted to the little boy, and also with grief, when these situations pull us away from him.

As I turn 27, I find myself struggling with questions about where I should be and what I should be doing. As I crawl closer to my “late 20s” it’s hard not to evaluate life so far and consider my current situation versus that of others and the expectations I had for myself through the years. When I look at it compared to the world’s standards, I’m lagging behind in a lot of areas.

Like a lot of people these days, I’m really struggling to find a job. As some of you know, I worked with a team of missionaries in Mexico City for most of 2008. I could talk about my time there for hours, but let’s just say it’s an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. But I arrived home last winter in the midst of a brutal economic crisis. I’ve looked online nearly everyday for the last four months or so and have had little success. Thus, I’m pretty much itinerant, living with my parents, my sister and friends. Also, as my friends get married and some begin to have children, it’s easy to feel a bit left behind sometimes. Besides that, I still yearn for Mexico and constantly ask myself (and God) if I should be there or here.

So let’s review: no job, no place of my own, unmarried, confused about the future. This is not where I expected to be at 27. But this is exactly where God expected me to be and that’s so much more important.

I think as Christians we should constantly remind ourselves of the things that God has already done in our lives. When I get bogged down by my frustrations, I pull out journals I’ve kept over the years and meditate on things God has done for me. I’m not a stranger to waiting on God’s provision. I waited for almost a year to see if the funding would come through and everything would line up for the Mexico City trip to happen. It was a year filled with uncertainty, stress and worry. But it worked out perfectly. If God had my life so under control then, even though I wasn’t aware of it, why would now be any different?

And I also remind myself that we all have different needs, which God knows utterly. I could have all the things my younger self expected me to have at 27 and still be completely unhappy. God wired me with a heart for Mexico and took me there. And in order to have the incredible experiences I had there, other things had to be put on hold for awhile. But those things will happen when God, in His complete knowledge of the world and of me, deems it right. And that makes the world’s standards insignificant.

But what do I do in the meantime? Despite the comforts I just described, I still have days when I’m really frustrated. And when I’m frustrated, it inevitably spills into my relationship with God. And it’s confusing, finding myself vacillating between trusting God’s provision and getting discouraged when nothing changes. Sometimes I get hung up on just asking God for things - for guidance and for signs - or just complaining to Him. Don’t get me wrong, God still wants to hear those honest petitions and expressions of anguish. But sometimes I lose track of seeking God merely for the joy of seeking him, being in his presence and knowing him better. At times my soul doesn’t long for Him, but rather for direction, an answer.

Since my time in Mexico City was so important to me, it particularly touches my heart when things I’m learning or experiencing here are affirmed by friends there. As we talked about having “eyes to see as God sees” at Immersion a few weeks ago and I processed through these thoughts, I talked to a friend in Mexico City about some of my frustrations. In response, he said “Ask God to give you understanding so that you can see what He wants you to see”. I don’t think God wants me to just see my struggles. The point of this period of my life is not just to find out the answer or the next step. As I wait for guidance and opened doors, God wants me to see the joy of a beautiful Iowa spring, of reconnecting with old friends and making new ones, of learning to salsa dance, of meeting my first niece. He wants me to see his faithfulness as he provides in his timing, and his comforting presence when everything seems messed up. And, most importantly, He wants me to see Him.


A side note: Please continue to lift up the people of Mexico City in prayer as the city is disrupted and frightened by this influenza. Thanks.

There are times I find myself facing a decision in life, a hard one, one that I do not think I can handle or control on my own, something that scares the crap out of me – I am calling this a mountain…. because, let’s be honest – that’s what it feels like.

I believe God places us in front of these mountains throughout our lives because He knows the amazing life that is on the other side waiting for us, the Promised Land. He wants us to trust Him and in doing so He wants to mold us and teach us and bless us beyond our wildest imagination. *

*Christian disclaimer: God never says life is going to be easy, but He does promise His strength for those who trust Him, fulfillment, contagious joy, peace, patience, love…. etc. Now, you can’t put a price tag on those things people!

There are 3 stages to every mountain:

1. Base Camp
2. The Climb
3. The Promise Land

The base camp is your comfort zone. Sure, it can be nice and pleasant most of the time, but there is a part of you that feels like something is missing. You see the mountain in front of you and you can’t help but think to yourself “I wonder what’s on the other side?” Sometimes I like to be in denial about the mountain in front of me. I may stay in base camp for a lot longer than I should because I’m afraid and I do not believe what God promises, because if I did, I would get off my butt! Unfortunately a lot of people stay in the base camp their entire lives, fear takes its grip and they can’t let go. This is a sad…sad thing.

The Climb is…. well, let’s be honest, it’s hard. It’s hard to trust, it’s hard to let go of your comfort zone and give up control in your life. The climb is when you say to God “okay, let’s do this!” It’s hard work, it’s a struggle, and it’s a time of great struggle but with this comes great reward, growth and excitement.

Things that will help you on your climb:

Sher·pas
n. pl. Sher·pas- local people, guides that can help you through your climb. This could be a close friend, someone you can trust, who has great wisdom and has maybe climbed a similar mountain and can encourage you along your trek. God places these specific people in your life and uses them to encourage.

ox·y·gen
n. Symbol O– When my heart is breaking or I’m scared, it can literally be hard to breathe - can I get some air up in here!! Just saying the name of Jesus gives us breathe, he is the life giver and will always be there with us.

com·pass
n.– I bet you didn’t see this one coming, ☺ it’s God’s word. The B-I-B-L-E! God spells things out for us in His word to direct us. Read it!

And finally, the Promise Land which is intended for all of us, and it’s not just when we get to heaven. It’s our sweet spot, the best God has to offer for our lives here on earth. He wants this for each and every one of us; we just have to let Him take us there. This is a life of greatest fulfillment. Maybe you know someone who is living here, they are full of life! This is what God want for you too!

Some mountains seem bigger to us than others, some are scarier to overcome, some make you want to pee your pants. ☺ However, I believe God calls us to LIVE LIFE to the fullest and I truly believe if you are bored in life, you have no one to blame but yourself!

Let’s get a climbing!!

This is something that’s been on my heart for quite a while now, and I have yet to come up with any answers as to why we do it.

Let’s face it, Christian or otherwise, people are just generally not very good at communicating with one another. Yesterday over a bowl of Potato Pepperjack Soup from South Union (outstanding soup, by the way), a friend of mine told me that her friends know that when she says, “Nothing!” that she is actually trying to say, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Everyone does this is some way or another. Smiling and nodding at someone when you’re not really interested in what they’re saying, or saying you understand someone so you don’t have to face the embarrassment of not understanding – all sorts of little lies and miscommunication.

So, if everyone does it, what’s the problem?

Well, quite a few things. For starters, lying isn’t good. Even in a casual greeting, if someone asks how you’re doing and you tell them, “Good!” when you’re really not, you lied to them. I don’t think we’re called to tell the truth unless we think that the person isn’t really interested in hearing what we have to say.

That’s just one example. But, there’s one particular behavior regarding poor communication that I am finding interesting. What I’m finding is that our propensity as people, when we’re confused by another, is to go to a third person. When someone behaves in a way that perplexes us, we go ask someone else why they did it. When a significant other is speaking another language to us, we run to a friend of the same gender for translation.

My question is: How rational is this? If you’re confused by someone, what are the odds that another person is going to understand them any better than you? Sure, they may have more reasonable assumptions than you, but they’re still just assumptions, right? Wouldn’t it be more rational to ask the person who is confusing you what they actually mean?

But, we almost never do this, and I have no idea why. I do understand that there is merit in sorting out your own feelings and thoughts with a friend. For instance, if you’re in a disagreement, sometimes it’s constructive to explain how you’re reacting to the situation to an objective third party as a “head check” to make sure you’re not being unreasonable. However, beyond that point, involving someone else can be downright destructive, and basically gossip. The inflection point is when the conversation fails to be constructive. Gossip, in English at least, is defined as “idle” talk (pointless).

I have a coworker who loves to assume he knows other people’s motives. He is convinced that everyone else is motivated by cynicism and is out to make his life miserable. I know this because, well, he tells me about it. Almost everyday I’m told how one coworker who was assigning him work was particularly condescending to him (when in reality, he was just doing his job) or how another coworker is overreacting and being a hot-head about everything towards him.

Here’s the hard question though: If he actually felt talked-down to, or irritated by perceived anger, wouldn’t it make more sense for him to talk to those people, and not me? Probably…

...Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to tell him this instead of griping about it in a blog? Probably…

Anyway, if any of you have seen the movie Doubt, you might remember this. But, I heard a cool analogy about gossip in that movie. It really challenged me to think differently about how I address situations involving a third person. It challenged me to ask myself if I really want to discuss something important and reach a conclusion, or if I just want to complain and make someone else look bad.

Here’s a paraphrase of the story based on my [questionable] memory:

A woman went to confession, and asked the priest about gossip. She explained what she had done, and asked if what she had done was really gossip. The priest told her that yes, it was gossip and that yes, she needed to confess and repent for it.

After that, he told her to go home, take a pillow from her bed, go up to the roof of her house, and stab the pillow with a knife.

She returned to the priest and he asked if she had stabbed the pillow like he asked. She told him that she had. The priest asked her what happened, and she told him that she saw feathers, tons and tons of feathers.

The priest told her to go recollect all of the feathers that had flown from the pillow. The woman responded telling him that it would be impossible. The wind had blown them in a million different places and they couldn’t possibly be found.

“THAT is gossip!” the priest replied.

So, as a fellow human being, I’d encourage you to be counter-cultural. If someone isn’t being clear with you, or you don’t understand them, do the “weird” thing and ask for more explanation. If someone is upsetting you, take some time to cool down, and then talk to them about it. They’re not easy conversations to have, but they’re necessary. The world will know we are followers of Christ by how we love one another – never forget that!