Whether you’re a Christian or not reading this, have you ever had those days and nights in your life where nothing seems to be working for you? Where you feel completely lost and totally confused? Well, I have been having one of those months and I just had one of those nights. It is about 5:00 in the morning as I start writing this and I have not slept a wink all night and I’m actually at the office to just start working when I finish writing this. It is going to be a long day.

I have been wrestling with God about a great number of things tonight. Please allow me to be extremely vulnerable and personal in this post. Yes, I am a full blown “sold out to Christ” Christian, but I feel really lost right now.

I don’t know who I am supposed to be in life, I don’t know where I am supposed to go in life, I don’t know who I want to walk along side me in life. I just don’t know. So I was up all night asking God some really hard questions and frankly getting sort of upset at Him. Then I became even more frustrated because I realize that God is probably trying to give me the answers but I probably don’t even know how to listen for the answers. I am so very confused, broken, and frustrated.

I heard this song called “One Thing” by Paul Coleman earlier tonight on the radio. It is one of my favorites, but today it really hit home for me. I made bold the things that really resonate with me right now.

Well Here I am In a river of questions
Can I pour my heart out to a listening ear?
Well I see this life
Its valley’s and mountains
And I think of all the roads that brought me here
Oh that brought me here
Walkin' down, walkin' down those roads

Well I’ve questioned my reasons
This life I’m living
I’ve questioned my ability
To judge wrong from right
Well I’ve questioned all the things I’ve ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind

Chorus 1: But the one thing I don’t question is You
You really love me like you say you do
You really love me like you say you do
So hold me, 'cause I need you
Hold me

Well I’ve questioned my significance
Meaning and relevance
Does the work I’m doing really matter at all?
Well I’ve questioned my friendships
Alliance, dependence
Who will still be here when I fall?

Chorus 2: But the one thing I don’t question is You
You really love me like you say you do
Yea the one thing I don’t question is You
You really love me like you say you do
So hold me, (come on now) hold me
Hold me, (come on, I need your love)
Hold me...

Only one thing doesn’t change
Only one thing stays the same
All I know at the end of the day is your love remains

I know I have a great number of questions right not but I suppose I don’t really question God. I know he will be here for me and will make things clear in time. I did seem to get one answer from Him when I was asking why I am going through all this. The answer seemed to come as He gave me a mental picture of a hurricane.

I feel so surrounded by the storms of this life right now just like a hurricane. The strong winds surround me and are beating me down. I can’t see which way to go and feel so lost. To be honest, I’m a little scared.

Then it hit me and I know it was God talking to me. It just clicked.

At the center of the hurricane in which they call the “eye” there is great peace and I can have clear vision in one direction which is up...toward God. I feel so lost and surrounded by life’s storms but I fully believe I can look up and know God is looking right down on me. I just can’t stop looking up and I can trust He will give me peace in the eye of the storm...

Thank you God. I still love you. (Even though I was mad at you last night.)